20060717i realise today that when you leave a problem pending
u're really not solving the problem
n when u leave problems PENDING
u're really hurting yourself
cos evrythin is just resurfacing n i find it hard to face it all ALONE
i just want to feel good and normal
is it that hard to be
i run away from things that i cannot handle
this has been so since sec2
i never ever have the courage to face up with my own feelings
nor tell people what i really feel
cos i'm scared that they wun understand and see me in a different way
there was a chance for me to face up with evrything that was happening
but what happened?
all the conventional thinking and restrctions. i stopped in my path
i thought i could just threw the problem aside and get on with life
apparently it was not so
the problem only grew worse with evry passing day or month
until eventually. i had to accept that what happened was not entirely your fault
but i had my fault in not telling the truth
the disappointment and regrets
all the IFs thinking.
i realised and reflected.
but i dunnoe why it nv seemed to make me grow stronger
it simply just make me stumble on the same obstacle again
after this. came another similar incident
WHY CARNT I JUST BE BRAVE FOR A MOMENT
down with all the conventional ideas
i thought i handled it better. but what resulted was simply more regrets and loss of faith
i finally realise i self contradict in evry sense
the most horrible thing is i realise it but still try to run away from evrything
but it seems like problems can only get worser when u dont try to solve them
and now i just feel like a complete loser that i hurt evrybody
and worse enough. i am really confused
my mind is in a swirl
evrything is coming back to haunt me
ohgod. i just need that courage and the right thinking to handle the deep shit i put myself in right now
*erm. if u dun understand what i just wrote. heck me pls. i just want to feel better by confessing
talkplaylove
9:50:00 PM
