it's a mixed up world.

20050826

Helena- by CHEMICAL ROMANCE

long ago
just like the hearse you die to get in again
we are so far from you
burning on just like the match you strike
to incinerate the lives of everyone you know
and what's the worst you take
from every heart you break
and like the blade you stain
well i've been holding on tonight

what's the worst that i can say?
things are better if i stay
so long and goodnight
so long and goodnight

came a time
when every star falls brought you to tears again
we are the very hurt you sold
and what's the worst you take
from every heart you break
and like the blade you stain
well i've been holding on tonight

whats the worst that i can say
things are better if i stay
so long and goodnight
so long and goodnight
and if you carry on this way
things are better if i stay
so long and goodnight
so long and goodnight

can you hear me?
are you near me?
can we pretend to leave and then
we'll meet again when both our cars collide

what's the worst that i can say
things are better if i stay
so long and goodnight
so long and goodnight
and if you carry on this way
things are better if i stay
so long and goodnight
so long and goodnight

i was just dl-ing any music dat i chanced upon
dis is such a nice song!
u can feel the pain so much
well. i tink nt all will like dis cos its kinda noisy
but its reallly nice
just dun listen to it for too long :)

talkplaylove
11:30:00 PM

20050825

decided to stop coming online so often
thanks to my com nw
its resettig evrytime i ON it
so its a HIGH BARRIER OF ENTRY
yes. the mugging spirit is in the air
i've stocked up supplies of food tdy
all geared up (:
my blog might become stagnant for nw
hahaha. but u all guys can still tagg :)

talkplaylove
6:43:00 PM

20050824

i'm inspired by doctor william tan
he rocks
altho i couldnt ctrl myself
slept a bit during his talk
damn tired
but the parts i paid attention was good
he's super motivated
conquering all difficulties
watching his journey in life
makes me feel like a mouse
wads mine problems compared to his
yes...
those who went to the talk shld noe
n those who haf yet hear his talk
if there's any opportunity for you to hear it
GO! hahaha
finding the force within...
hmmmm.
waiting for next wed's appmt w doc
to see the prob w my legs
in the meantime
i shld just mug hard
hahaha
i'm still paling in comparison to others

haix. anw. i tink my com is going to crash soon
there's dis weird notation whn i start up
saying my settings will b reset
well. true enuff.
n more pop-ups is coming the way
i dun see how can dis happen
ever since the last experience
i've been scaning my com with softwares
for virus and spyware-wadeva u call dat
its been fine till now
rahhh. is dis wad u get w technological adv.
whn i'm just an utter suagupok in coms
let's hope all is fine for my com

some random things dat happen whn i went home tdy:
1) a woman was littering.
den dis peh peh said" you're littering!"
n the woman tried acting blur
but i alr walked past them so din noe wad happen
i'm nt dat kpo okayss
haha
2) more cats is at my hse ):
my mum said someone was bathing them
wth.
the hse is nt a cats breeding ground!
esp whn they like to terrorise me
cats like to scuttle across me
dey like to stare at me
they like to appear in grps
n attempt to bully me
hahahahhaa.
GO AWAY!

btw. i really hope to go to d OCIP thing
but thre's like a few things to worry about
commitment
sth dat i cant forsee wad will happen
interview
sth dat i've nv done in my whole life
eh. cant tink of others
still pondering whtr to take the form
but really hope to go since i've nv done such stuff

last of all.
a piece of good news
i passsed my chem test!
wheeeee. 18/35
first time
haha. well. but still
organic chem sucks

was attempting my econs essay
totally horrendous
i'm starting to hate econs too
:(

MUG MUG MUG MUG MUG...

talkplaylove
9:16:00 PM

20050823

once again
i lurve chem (:
haha.
skill B tdy was rockin d hell outa me
i changed my readings
it looks perfect
congrats
aft sch
went w lou to study
1st stop-mplib
no seats at adult sect
went to starbucks
saw bj,tracy dere
but the table damn small
went bac to lib starbucks
i took a ground seat facing outside
do hwk halfway
someone was knocking on d glass
i looked up&saw waiyip
right. haha
den later on saw more familiar faces
so we decided to go to pp macs
more spacious
we werent vv productive
i did some 5.2complex no
tried a few circular motion Qs
n in between were chitchats&laff-thers
doodling.
lou wrote "i love mr ho" on my tutorial
right. cant imagine d conseq if mrho sees
so i conclude i aint productive tdy
haix.
i'm damn tired
but i must study
i'm really paling in comparison to pple ard me
they r into serious mugging
altho i feel dat my mugging nw is damn hiong
its like peanuts compared to them
yes. i wan to turn it to a charsiewbao.
its bigger
MUG!

talkplaylove
9:45:00 PM

20050822

ms ng: fujing, where's ur tutorial?dun have ah. what've you been doing? SLACKING?

argh. haix. shooted at during chem tutorial
i tink i wld haf done my work
if there ain't chem lect assess
which i found out at the later part of d day
dat it was a complete waste of time
i left an entire page blank
another page with only 2 words written
15mins b4 time's up
i was stoning away
i've done wad i could
rah. wad a big waste of time
tdy i will do my work.
yes i will
5 more weeks to promos
time is flying
i'm crawling
the monster is stomping near
i've got to buck up
most importantly
i dun wan to be slacking right nw
i noe i will regret dearly if i do dat

talkplaylove
7:07:00 PM

20050821

a very random dayyy
morning woke up thanks to lynne's msg
i wonder if nobody msg me
will i ever wake up
i might just sleep the day away
she asked if wan go out study
i thought my pathetic legs
n kinda said no
den i got out of bed
i realise i can walk
n u noe whyy?
cos the pain is now spread equally over my legs
like butter n jam
right
but at least can walk now?
so i agreed to go study
i was terribly late
stupid 15&966 just refused to come
repeat telecast of project superstar was on tv mobile
n i wore a pair of lousy flip flops out tdy
whn i got home tdy i decided to throw it away
although its leathery green
but its lousy
oooh. time for new & more flip flops
ok. bac to the studying session
we arrived at nat lib
saw a few familiar faces there
the whole world was kinda studying dere
we found seats eventually
studiied studieed
i only manage to comple IE(i) n half of IE (ii)a
den we make our way to Hans for desert
ahem. hahaha
den later on went home
i went to draw money
realise i haf ample money to the end of dis mth
thanks to my saving n me controlling myself nt to splurge
if i cont like dis to the end of the mth
i might b able to save sum $
n use it for big splurging some other time
wahahas
den i walked home
n guess wad i saw
a little boy peeeee-ing
right in the middle of a grass patch
like wth
i know he's a kid
but its just obscene mans
my house is turning to a cats' playground soon
tdy i saw cats trying to play hide&seek at the gate
right. its damn scary
cos i'm kinda afraid of cats
next. i was walking up the incline to the lift
n a cat appeared outta nowhere in front of me
RIGHT
gave me a shock
den i decided to detour by using the stairs
someone shld do sth about the cats
before i just die cos of the immensive shock dey can create
chem lect assessment tml
i guess hist will just repeat itself again
so i wun b surprised if i fail

talkplaylove
10:29:00 PM

20050820

and i can't stand the pain..
and i can't make it go away..

dis is how i describe my situation
my knee nv got better over the night
now i cant even walk
i cant go for training today
neither can i even go outta the house
so i had to pangseh lou to study chem
n the only happy thing today was playing piano
thanks jeremy for your "one hundred years" score
its keeping me alive for now

talkplaylove
2:25:00 PM

20050819

i'm fucked
the other knee. the right knee
its hurting like siao now
felt pain this morning
n the pain just got worse as the day went on
now its just immensive pain n swollen
like the pain from my torn ligament knee
shit
i'm damn scared i tear my right ligament
wth
the pain better go away by tml
i dun mind suffering for the night
but if it just get worse
dats it
i'm just fucked up

talkplaylove
10:13:00 PM

20050818

woke up dis morn feeling terrible than ever
usual days i can wake up n sleepwalk
tdy. aft breakfast. i realise i carnt even open my eyes
my back was aching badly. i also dunnoe y
so i calculated the odds
there's only maths tut&lect dats imp
i din do anything for econs or phys
i will be missing econs lect anw
so i decided nt to go
once i decided
i plunge back into sleep
had alot of queer dreams
woke up at 12pm
finally i was nt feeling dat terrible
ate lunch n went to Raffles Hosp for my MRI scan
RH is super nice! haha.
it looks vv luxurious frm the outside
n inside right
they haf comfy waiting seats
i waited quite long for my scan
when it was my turn
i had to change to radiology garments
you noe dat blue dress? haha
evry metallic things has to be taken off
when i entered the room.
i was in a state of shock
i saw dis huge machine which resmeble dat in tv serials
u noe whn they do brain scans on people
n it did nt prove me wrong
the nurse gave me 2 ear plugs
she said it will b super noisy
den i climbed onto the thing
she strapped me up
covered me in blanket
n i was pushed inside the machine
well. my whole body was pushed inside
except my head left outside
den the nurse said" ok. you can sleep now. the scan will take 1/2hr"
RIGHT.
there were queer n loud sounds from the machines
thank god i have the earplugs
or i would haf walked out deaf
i fell asleep despite the noise
when i woke up
the scan has just ended
n i could go alr
the feeling's quite weird sia
hahah. so me n mum went taka to buy jam
cos there's only a faucon counter at taka
n my parents only eat faucon's jam
so went there
n i'm surprised i manage to control myself nt to shop
den went home
hmmm. i haben done a single tutorial yet
rahhs. i shld go do nw. or else tml is another pointless day

talkplaylove
8:21:00 PM

20050817

project work sucks
yesterday in school
my grp decided to stay overnight
so we can do our written report
ok. vv good idea
we decided to go wai yip's hse to bunk
so after sch we each went home to get our stuff
i met bj at 7pm at pp
we bought food den proceed there
waiyip's hse is just like a 5-star hotel
the outside looks nice.
the inside is nice too
n he stays inside with billy
haha
his grpmates were also there
rushing written report too
we joked abit lah
den started doing alr
yesterday's pw session was the best so far
we were productive
but before midnight we were more relaxed
after midnight we were all submerged in major typing
we went inside's waiyip's rm to do
cos got interent connection
so while he sleeps away
we just type type n type
we split into 2 grps
me&alvin. deb&bj
well. alvin did more of the typing
i was contributing ideas
n i felt bad disturbing waiyip
its kinda like intruding into his privacy
we cont'd until around 2am+
my brain was totally dying
no oxygen is going there
so i decide to go nap
set alarm to wake up at 3am
n i put my hp as far away as possible
so i will wake up
i conclude dat waking up at 3am
on a comfortable green bed
is an extremely difficult task
whn i woke up
my brain was still dead
lucky after a while it was more alive
den alvin went to sleep i tink
so i did the typing
until around 5+
dere was nth much left to do
so i plunge into bed agn
i set the alarm at 645
so i haf ample time to bathe n all
n guess wad
i woke up
n i turned it off
the nxt moment i open my eyes
its 710
HORROR
i tried waking up deb
but not to much use
so i went to wake the guys
hah. waiyip was still sleeping
lol. i was thinking what if i din wake up
den all 5 of us will be MIA
i will just sleep my ass out for the whole day at his hse
we rushed
i wanted to bathe but no towel
so we all just quickly change
grab our stuff n dash out
i din had time to put on my contacts
horrible morning
we cabbed to sch
n we dash out of the cab at the zebra crossing so we wunt b late
n at dat moment
i was nt wearing my specs
cos its like so nerrrrdyy
evrything was jus a total blur
add on to my mind nt waking up
i tink the 4 of us just walked around like zombies the whole day
i expected myself to pon phys lect
but i went in the end
n i sat in front
for the whole time
my eyes were just half-closed
aft dat chem tutorial
i totally shut down frm ms ng
i felt bad. but i couldnt help it
budden i realise i copy faster whn i'm tired
aft chem tutorial we stayed in the cls
i lined up chairs n slept
until peiwen woke me saying another cls is coming in
i was nt awake
so i did sleepwalking
n i tink i'm pro in it
haha. sry to those who i dao today
i was simply just nt aware of my surroundings
me n bj tried to sleep at the comfy sofas at the library
n i tried to pose myself to make it look like i'm reading the time mag
but the stupid librarian came n whack me with a newspaper
like how wonderful
den i coudnt get any sleep
the shock made me had a headache
GP was a total slack w me shutting down agn
aft sch i went home
n can i conclude dat the sun was super bright tdy
couldnt even open my eyes properly
i went home
bathed n plunge into my beloved bed
woke up at 430
i was debating whether to go judo
in the end. i decided to go
its bad nt going cos of my own actions
but later on i realised its a vv bad decision
well. tdy judo there was only 6pple
pathetic. n only got 2 girls
me n peishan
6 pple carrying all the mats
is not a funneh thing
i was tired b4 i even started training
training started
n tdy's training was hiong
we did 8 sets of practise throws
when we only did 5 usually
n worst of all
i had stomachache halfway
n i couldnt find any near toilet
so i just bear w it
lucky it went awy later
n i bang my face like 2 times today
n pain
i wonder whether my face will swell tml
randori was horror
guess who i sparred with
sensei. right.
erm. i managed to throw him once
of cos with him letting me so much
but i just got swept by him twice
nxt sparring partner
nicholas. right again
so hard to even break his balance -_-
my muscles were simply jelly tdy
no strength at all
i spent my whole day sleeping
only thing i ate for the whole day was a chewy bar
aft randori my whole body was jelly
but still got groundwork
den must play 3bouts!
n only got 6 pple
means no rest
played with peishan
den nic
den jason
as usual i suck in groundwork
worse part is no strength to struggle
my body was shutting down on me basically
aft training ended
i felt super bad
like i was half dead for almost the whole thing
sensei was like saying coming to training so tired is bad
will get injury
ok. nxt time i will sleep early b4 training days
den mark lee had a talk with us
which dragged until 830
i mainly shut down agn too
stoning on the chair
den we had to carry back the mats
n dere was only 5 of us
i carried around 4 or 5 mats
i can conclude dat tdy's training i carried the most mats lo
tired tired tired
went home
finally had the first meal of my day
2 pieces of bread
great
i'm nw debating whether i shld go sch tml
no tutorials done
if i go. its pointless
n if i do my tutorial nw
tml i will be zombieee
rahhhhs
i wonder hw come there's no more rainbow in my life
my life is just hectic
its sad
yes. i haf a sad life
or shld i say i haf no life
wadeva

talkplaylove
9:26:00 PM

20050815

couldnt wake up at all dis morn
i was brainwashing myself "i'm nt tired.i'm nt tired..." for the whole damn day
guess wad. i managed to survive
so i will try dis out tml n the day aft tml...
hmmm. i din really do effective studying during my breaks tdy
i just tried to slack as much as possible
in short. like normal
tdy's phys lecture was horrible!
so many diagrams to draw. n the lecturer went at godspeed again
me n steph was so fed up
n later on towards the end. i saw many circles
well. at least i manage to convince myself that i was just seeing things
i decide dat i wun go for the lecture nxt week
if time allows me to self lecture dis week
gp had a talk with mr ng
welll. it was overall ok
maths lect was horrible
i spent half the time battling with my eyes nt to close
well. at least some formulas drilled in
chem lect was the nicest lect tdy!
cos there was dis stupid addictive song bout chem
hahaha. i love it!
the lecturer played it over n over agn b4 the start of the lecture
so i went in so entertained
i just sat down n stone n enjoy the stupid music
den suddenly peiwen said
" i see dat u're entertained by d song dat u nt going to take out ur notes"
sth lidat lah.
den i realise dat i was stoning! hahahaha
well. i though the lecturer's tootish voice was interesting too
his lecture certainly has some level of entertainment
but the subject sucks lah
rahhhs. hate chem
aft sch went to geyland w deb n glen
go w deb to do our pw interview
we nicely accompanied glen home
hahaha. went into sri sivan temple
well.. interview was ok lah.
at least its done now! yays
aft dat went to singpost to study
glen joined us
i did my gp hwk n some organic chem
rahhs. i really do suck in organic chem
pardon me but i haf to repeat the fact over n over agn evrytime i haf contact w it
den i decided to go home
nv accomplish much. rahhs
only thing dat kept me going was america nxt top model!
ahhhh. i wan to watch my naima (:
and due to lynne. naima is nt hanyupinyin.
so it does not mean milk mum
its pronounced as naaar-iiiii-maaaer
sth lidat lah. watch the show n u will noe
heh heh. shall slack for nw n wait for the show

talkplaylove
9:32:00 PM

20050814

slept at 10pm ytd
2am i woke up to go to the loo
saw debbie's msg
replied her
n she replied back!
turns out shes doin her econs essay at sch dat moment
den i realise i couldnt go back to sleep
so i woke up to do my dear econs essay too
at least get dis big loadpile off my mind
project work is alr bad enuff
i did my 8.3 differentiation tutorial
yes. almost complete it.
den i did my hsekeeping
i realise my rm is always in a big fat mess during the weekend
den i tried to do some pw stuff. but to no avail
rahhh. stress stress stress
i watched waterboys so as to destress
den i realise i was late meeting pw grp
arrived at 10+
me, alvin n daniel went to do the interviews
first we went to the hindu temple
the pple there aint really friendly?
n some cleaner dere thot we were coming for job interview
erm. RIGHT
he was kinda nt happy w us
i bet he tinks we r snatching his rice bowl
bwahahahs
turns out the head of the temple aint there
n the pple dere says dey cant provide us interview
so i guess we haf to go back there tml aft sch
oh wows.
den we went to the muslim temple
the person directed us the convert nearby
n b4 we went. he told us dat we haf to wear more formally when going to religious places.
i was wearing a skirt. ok. great
we walked to the so called nearby convert
pple there was friendly
they directed us to someone we could interview
n i can conclude dat was a vv bad interview
cos the person kept sidetracking
cutting off my questions
repeating himself
was totally boring
n me being the one asking the questions
i had to act interested whn i was totally pissed off w him
whn he repeats himself
i will just perform auto-shutdown mode
until he wans to answer the nxt question again
like wow.
but at least we got the interview done
left with maybe 2 more interviews
i must keep the engine vrooming
den we went singpost to do written report
well. can i say we din really erm do it
but we split up the job
so as long as evryone of us do the thing
yes. the written report will b done
can b presented
aft pw. me, deb n baojie went shopping
heh heh. first we went city plaza-tink dats the name
shop for shoes but to no avail
so we took a bus to bugis
by then i was so tired dat i need to drink some coffee
but the drink i bought tdy sucks
cos the person nv blend it properly
but nevertheless felt better
we shopped ard. haha. quite fun
i bought new earring n necklace
together w debbie's bracelt
cos its like any 3 for $10
cheap cheap (:
den debbie bought a 3 quart frm giodarno
me&bj tink she shld change it right awy cos it looks nicer w her top
hahahhahaa.
yup. we shopped. den at 530+
we decided to go home
i came home n sleep
too tired sia
ok. nw i shall go do my pw
jia you jia you mdm fujing

talkplaylove
9:09:00 PM

20050813

today morn was freaky
cos i woke up at 12pm plus?
i was like oh shit.
lucky alvin was still nt done. phews~
we went to do pw interview
only manage to interview buddhism one
the hindu temple was nt opened until 5pm
we didnt want to wait there
so we tried the mosque
there was nobody too
so we decided tml to go bac to do
but at least we accomplished sth
but i'm still quite stresss over pw
cos written report is still nt done!
den later i went to study at sing post
with.. louisa
hahahah.i finished my differentiation 8.2
i wanted to do my organic chem
but to my horror i forgot to bring my tys
so i did differentiation 8.3
nt bad lah. at least go completed sth
so overall. tdy was nt a bad day
hahahaha. but i'm still feeling as tired as ever
bwahhs. tml haf to wake up early
i hope i dun oversleep or sth
yes. n pray hard tml's pw will b productive

talkplaylove
8:55:00 PM

20050812

yes! i finally got my engines vrooming~
wheee
yesterday night i finished my physics tutorial
first time in my life..
i did so much from a physics tutorial
yays~
slept at 2+
where i had a bad night
dis morn i woke up almost dying
drank a cup of tea so as to keep me going
yes. i did pe tdy
i'm a genius
i invented a way of running dat wun hurt my knees so much
so i ran 3 rounds around the track!
felt alright (:
pwaeed netballl.
hahaha. it wasnt like the real game bt overall it was quite good
but i conclude that i'm just nt cut out to b a shooter
tdy is such a super long day
aft pw. there was still maths remedial.
ended at ard 415
waited for nicole den we go studying
heh heh heh =P
we went national library straight
i really studieed hard
guess wad i did!
completed 5.1 complex numbers
7.3 vectors assignment
n i'm at ques 6 for 8.2 differentiation
woah. i tink i did so much maths. lol
such a productive day
proud of myself
i love studying with nicole. wahahahs
but i felt bad.
cos i left at 850
wanted to watch chn 8 meng zai shou li's last epi
den she continued studying herself
rahhh. but last epi. i stilll couldnt contrl myself
n worst of all. i cabbed home so i could catch more of it
wasted $7.40 ):
all the talks about saving. haix
shit lah. i really tink my project work is in grave danger
we haben done our written report which is due nxt week
shit shit shit. rAHHH. i'm getting stressed by dis.
how i wish time can just slow down

talkplaylove
10:22:00 PM

20050811

i need to wake up frm dreams
i need to face reality
that big fugly nasty monsters coming to stomp me soon
yes. i mean promos&projectwork
i need to stop thinking of ways to slack
i need to START thinking of ways to mug
yes. i need to get the engine started
but i just carnt seem to find the key
mayb i shld go stare at the promos timetable more
it might motivate me
i got thru the day blurred
tml i must b focused.
yes. n tml i haf to go for pe alr
cos my mc has ended
since they r playing netball!
i'm excited
how many donkey yrs haf it been since i last touch a netball?
i miss my netball mates.
i miss the days we get together
training. slacking. planning farewells
i wan to go bac to those days
i wan a normal life
life simply is just plain boring
all i can do is study study n study more
how nice. like i even study dat much at the moment

talkplaylove
11:06:00 PM

20050810

yay yay yay!
i no need go barefoot tml
phews~
all the embarrasment is saved

but i tink i'm in even deeper shit now
today is my apptmt with the SGH doctor
first i went for my x-ray
i requested to x-ray both of my legs
just to make sure the left knee-recent injury is ok
den went to see the doc
the doc says my right knee although got grating sound
but its nt serious.
just need to cont medication n physio
when he came to my left knee
he did some tests n i felt pain
actually i suspected i tore my ligament some time ago
since i always lose my balance
den he kinda diagnosed its a ligament tear
actually i wasnt dat worried cos pple norm say ligament will heal
BUT. the ligament i tore is inside wan. some complex name it has
n the doc says it wun heal itself
so i need surgery
he asked me to go for this MIR scan. which will confirm the diagnosis
its costs $350. like a bomb
after the MIR scan. i will go for surgery
n he said he most prob diagnose correctly
but ask me go for MIR scan so we know the exact situation
like how wonderful can it get. a surgery
which most prob cost like a nuclear bomb
n leave a ugly fugly scar on my knee
n who noes there might b this big cast on it too
n i really haf to stop training now.
budden! i still wan to go.
i certainly will go for gym lah
as for gi training. i tink my mum will most prob chop me if i go
but i tink for the moment i shall just watch
RAHS. i just wan to get done n over with this thing
the fees r a major problem now
its like the funds r exceeding n my surgery fee will most prob kill the insurance company.
but if i dun claim. i most prob kill my own too. rahs. i shld just pray that the doctor diagnose wrongly n i wun need a surgery
but dat possibility seems bleak
i'm so in deep shit
somebody pull me out
i'm just depressed over my stupid knees
trying to stop tinking bout them
i'm living in self denial
RAHHHHS.
i dowan surgery!! i dowan any MIR scans!
i just wan normal knees. is it dat hard?
):

talkplaylove
8:23:00 PM

tml will b a horrifying day for me
you noe why?
cos i'm going to go barefoot around the sch 4 the whole day
like how wonderful
n y m i going barefoot
cos i lost a bet
a stupid bet i shld say
forget it.
conclusion - i shld just stop betting forever
so if u shld see me barefoot
PLS do not laugh or attempt to take pictures or anything

ok. i haf sth else to blog on too
tdy's chi newspaper the zbNow there got dis pg on AHS
its essays from dis yr AHS sec3 chinese literature students
when i saw it today i was kinda shocked lah.
like the whole page dedicated to AHS. its kinda pro-ed
but on further look.
i realised most of the essays r written by PRC scholars
n guess who their tcher is! wang wen xian. -_-
well. sec2 my results sucked badly lah
so it was impossible to take triple science
but i dun wan it anw. cos i dislike bio. haha
so have to choose 2 humanities right
i know i confirm wan to take history.
cos its a fascinating subject to me
but there is only history elective. hmmm
den for core humanities.
only got geography, english literature& chinese literature
i know i cant take geog cos i suck badly in it too
english literature is out. cos i hate it.
so left chinese literature. so i took it
well. my sec3 tcher was wang wen xian
hahaha. shes nt cut out to b a tcher lahs
she just read from the textbks. i can also do that
she favours PRC scholars. shes bias lor
cos she herself came frm china too
so my sec3 c-lit was horrible lah
i tink i got 50+ for end yr
which can be a fail in actual o-level
80+ is a1 for c-lit lah. hahahaa
sec4 we changed tchers
we haf our beloved lee lao shi (:
she was my form tcher in sec2. taught me chi
n she's darn good lah
i was damn happy whn i noe we got her for c-lit
at least i saw some hope
but the first lesson she came in.
she showed us statistics n stuff.make us realise wad deep shit we are in
so many pple decided to drop c-lit
i wanted to. but my mum forbid me to do so
cos my combine humanities was equally in a pathetic state
i rmb krystle wanted to drop too
but we didnt in the end
so we went on with c-lit
there was test evryweek. horror
is like study until can pull hair wan
cos if you perform below standard. have to take retest agn!
the whole yr went on. but i still perservered
cos lee lao shi's teaching is good
she explains clearly the hard parts.
she tells you which are the parts to take note of
she tells you how to do effective studying
she makes c-lit interesting
towards the end of the syllabus.
i actually started to love the subject.some parts lah
there r still some disgusting parts which i dun tink i will evr like
prelim i got 75. right on the dot the normal a1 standard
n the sch used the normal standard
hmmm. i tink i really MUGGED for o level
still remember it was on the same day as e-maths paper2
the papers were on a monday. which means i had the weekend to study
oh boy. i can still rmb that fateful weekend
there was so much to stuff into my peany brain
n that thing which kept me going was f.i.r songs
dun ask me why. ahhaa.
evrytime i wan to die alr. i will just plug in into my mp3
it just gave me strength to continue lah
that fateful day came. c-lit was in the afternoon
e-maths was in the morn
aft e-maths paper my brain was busted
went home to sleep. took a panadol too
din really study much alr.
my brain shld rest
den i was kinda late for the exam. ahha =x
the exam started. the paper was ok with some hard parts lah
i write until wan to die sia
during the exam i saw a few who gave up n started sleeping
feel vv sad for them cos they wasted 2 yrs n gave up at the last leg
after the exam i felt super relived
that monster is finally over
i cant b bothered with my grades alr
cos i knew i tried my best.
in the end. both krystle n i got a1 for c-lit
it was a shock for both of us lah
haha. so why am i typing all this?
cos i really wan to thank lee lao shi
she was the one who make it all possible
i cant imagine wad wld haf happened if wang wen xian cont tching
at least i din regret taking c-lit. ahhaha
actually for my combine humanities also same situation
n i owe it all to ms chan hwee ling. she has left ahs alr
well. hope dis serve as a motivation for those who is taking major exams
dun give up ok! put in your best.
yup. i shld start worrying for promos alr
but evrytime i say dat. i will forget it the nxt moment
somebody pls slap me

talkplaylove
11:19:00 AM

20050808

i din pon sch tdy. ahhaha
surprisingly mans.
but aft tdy
i decided nt to go for ndc nxt yr.lol
tdy flag raising sucked terribly lah
the national flag dropped halfway
like wth. if it happened on normal days
its still fine. but of all days... -_-
the whole thing was quite sian
only interesting part was the chit-chat sessions among ourselves
hahaha.n i was damn worried cnt get tickets for movie later!
hee. aft sch i nv go out w cls
alr planned to meet jingting long time ago
well. meeting her tdy was a disgusting process!
can i saw i missed like ard 5 buses.
rotting at the vjc bus stop under the hot weather
well. finally met her. i board the bus she took
n i almost got suffocated to death on the bus
cos there was so many VS guys on the bus!!
so squeezy n hot n lack of air
lucky aft the pp stop. the bus was emptied
we stopped at bugis
went to shawhse to try out luck at the tickets
n guess wad! we were the first pple there!
so lucky n amazing. haha
nxt time i will just go jade to watch movie on public hols day
den we went to suntec to haf lunch n walk ard first
had lunch at nydc. i feel sinful :(
walked ard. n both of us bought adidas shoe bag
damn nice! we wanted to put our gi inside
cos evrytime wednesday i go to sch w a big plastic bag
which is so inconvenient n big! haha
$15 for a adidas shoe bag. quite worth the deal
n i din splurge or wad ok
i spent it for a purpose.lol

den we went to watch charlie!
it was kinda queer. the story plot
hidden evil inside i say
but overall. i tink johnny depp simply rocks
his acting skills r superb
willy wonka in the show is such a weird character to portray
but jd did a great job!
but the movie din really follow the book towards the end
but i'm still fascinated with all the chocolatey stuff inside the movie
muahahahs

aft the movie we went bac suntec again
where we started seeing the whole wide world
first we saw mr chua n yao qi w another guy
i din see dem until jing ting told me mr chua smiled at us
oh wow. i'm kinda blind
the next one i saw cos the person called my name LOUDLY
dis ex-clsmate of mine lah. which i... rahs. shant comment anymore
but she kinda ruined my mood to shop at suntec
den we saw joanne. haha
i tink we saw many others. shant name them

since i had no mood to shop at suntec
we decided to go town
went orchard
where i tink i splurged! raaaaahs
i bought a green top there. $23
its just a plain halter with no designs
but the fact that it was green. n nice shade of green
i spent the money :(
later on i bought a pair of earrings too
rraaaahs. i shld stop spending so much!
i tink i spent over $50 tdy
i bet i will face a money crisis whn i reach the end of the month

but overall i was still happy with the things i bought =x
haha. n i wanted to buy alot other things you noe
like rain's music cd
full house vcd- the show rain acted in
b.u.m shirt- 2 for $22
but if i had bought them
i would just haf declared bankrupt!
nvm i shall save first.
but tdy was fruitful nevertheless =P

talkplaylove
8:40:00 PM

20050807

i'm a happy girl (:
today i saw that there's a mega john little sale at expo
so i asked my mum to go
haha. since she nv go to expo b4
she agreeed
we went there. den i saw dis sign
MEGA SPORTS SALE
ok. i immediately went there
oh my. there's like lotsa pple there
losta stuff
but in a mess so u have to dig for it
but the things were cheap
i ended up buying 2 nike apparels there
woohoo
my mum bought a shirt too.
then we went john little
erm. it aint good
cos there's nth i can buy there
hahahaha
den we went bedok sports link
i bought a green nike shirt too!
YAY (:
i'm duper happy
i msged lou abt the expo sports sale
den decided to meet her n go again
lol
she bought things too
yay. i feel great
i love nike :)

talkplaylove
8:57:00 PM

20050806

today is the most shagged day of the week!
i slept at 3am
n i woke up at 6am
i wake up so early for a vv lame reason
cos i wan to watch vcds
so i spent the morning watching the vcds i have
den noon i went to bugis to shop
i forgot about the time. so whn i checked the time
it was 225! horror
i rush to toa payoh
reached the mrt station at 255
i noe die liao lah
so i half run half brisk walk all the way to sensei's sch
wah piang. i almost wanted to pull my hair off
cos the weather tdy was damn hot&humid
before even start training alr meltdown liao
it was impossible that i was nt late
i miss the warming up. but i tink i haf alr warmed up
hahahaa
i felt as if i was in a desert the whole training
hmmm. i played randori w a ex rj girl
green belter
i tink i played better den wednesday for sure lah
after training rushed down to national library to do pw
we borrowed quite a number of books
ok. i shall spend my time reading it later
after that we went to makan
den went home
i'm all tired when i got home
but faster rush pw. so can send to mr ng
or else he scold the whole grp bcos of me
but after bathing
i nt tired alr
how wonderful
i was looking forward to getting some sleep
nxt week will be a short week
yays :)

talkplaylove
10:23:00 PM

i used to like fridays during secondary school
cos my lessons end at 1pm
which is such a short day that i simply love it
but for now fridays are just long and draggy

i decided to not go for pe today
cos my knees r loose
and i dowan tire myself
later on got physics spa

well. let me tell u how i malu-fied myself in the library
during the 3 period break
i thot some girl was lynne lah
so i went up
and i was smiling at her while walking towards her
den i pulled the chair. look at her
n to my very horror
its not lynne
RAHS. i'm such a kukuneh!
but that girl really look like lynne lahs
nt entirely my kukuness
hahs. i only spent my entire time in the library reading a few pages of econs
how unproductive can i get

chem lecture was a horror again
i dozed off. rahs

physics spa. haha
i'm SO sure dat i will pass with flying colours
i'm screwed lah
first my the bottom of my weight dropped out
lucky beetsma helped me screw it back
next i almost died trying to read the measurements
it was tiring! bending up and down
n i saw alot of wrong readings
last of all
my graph looked atrocious
there r points evrywhere
so i altered it
n i can draw a curve with that
so i drew a curve
which is WRONG!
hahaa. congratulations mdm fujing

project work is hectic
there is just so much to be done

stayed bac after sch for chem prac makeup
i was super lazy to copy. somemore its skillA
damn tired after chem ended

went to meet nicole
we're going to study (:
hahaha. we are going er ren shi jie again
hmm. we wanted go ymca
so we dropped at PS to makan first
den we went ymca n realise mac close down alr
so we walked to national library
well.national library is crap
its huge. spacy n EMPTY
i tink it has more space den books lah
the books there r so limited
haha.den no place to study wan
so we went to the cafe to study
well. i read more pages of econs
but still not able to complete it
oscillated a bit
den i was super tired
we ate a cake after studying. hahaha
oh. miss the good old days with nicole
hahahahaha
all the j2s r just muggin hard now

yup. n i created a judo blog!
i'm so happie :)
been tinking it for quite long alr
n now i got it started.
yays
hope pple will visit n blog
i will b damn sad if it dies
hahaha
http://vjc-judo.blogspot.com
interested pple go see it ok
dats all for tdy lah. lazy to blog more
i still haben done pw
i'm dead

talkplaylove
12:07:00 AM

20050804

i'm getting less and less sleep each day
4-5 hrs per day aint enough to sustain you
esp a day in jc with all the lectures and tutorials
i'm relying more n more on tea/coffee to stay awake
i noe its bad but no choice
sighs

dawn says shes quitting judo
heard her parents r unhappy about it
): 1 less member now

i swear mr bernard low is getting more n more funneh
he showed us 6 good reasons why we shld study econs
carnt really rmb there clearly. but shall list down a few n share
1) ECONOMICS can be otherwise written as COMIC NOSE. so u're studying a funny subject w/o realising it
2) look at mike jagger & arnold schwazenager. they studied econs n look where they are nw
3) if u r unemployed in the future. you will at least noe why you ended up there
4) if you are drunk. just tell people that you are practising diminishing marginal utility
oh man. these are super hilarious lah. i wonder if bernard thot of it himself or he found it somewhere. but i wouldnt be surprised if he thought of it himself
he has alr shocked me more than enuff

after school i plain slacking
the library is so packed with j2s that i don't even wan to go in
out of boredom
i went for GP remedial
well. can i say its was just a weird GP remedial
after that i went to see mr ng about my essay
yes. i got corrections to do
n they r braincell wrecking ones

rushed to judo pt
did gym first
i swear my knees are really getting weaker
well. partly cos tdy's a rainy day too
felt pain doing the physio exercise ):
i decided not to run. or else later fall down or sth
i tried to do side-steps today. but failed
i was losing my balance everytime i side-step
but i did sprinting. dunnoe wad i was tinking lah
it was ok. can sprint. but i have problems braking
once i slow down. knee pain.
n i did starjumps. tried hard to make it look like a star jump
burpees was ultimately killing my leg
i did better at push-ups today. shall work hard to do the full set
den came the real horror
mdm fujing must really learn anger management
i scolded the f word at someone
but i was really pissed
cannot control myself
rahhhs. nw i'm pissed at myself for nt being able to control
n i'm wondering whether i shld say sorry

shafeeq was telling me he tinks vj judo might close down
rahs. dat is the last horrible thing dat can ever happen right nw
we must hang on. n i hope nxt yr more j1s will join!
n we must really train hard to improve lah

tml's physics spa. oh how wonderful
i bet i will screw it
when was the time i nv screw up things?
well. i shall share some of my glorious moments during sec sch
1)sec2 during home economics:
we are supposed to turn the knob to start fire
i didnt noe u had to push in n turn
so i happily turn n turn and..
the knob came off.
i rmb i was horrified n i tired to put it back
lucky can put bac
and the whole class knew about it
2)during home ec too
i burnt my fried rice
n there was still unpleasant odour filling up the whole kitchen
3)during prelim chem prac
i was such a kukuneh
nv read the instructions carefully
i forgot to acidify my solution
so i never manage to titrate my solution
later on then i realised my mistake
quickly add acid
den titrate
the titration was going to b a success
den suddenly there was no more solution in the burette
well done
so i faked readings for my prelim chem spa
n i was super off
so i screwed up my spa

it will really be a miracle if i dun screw up tml
n i dunnoe what to study also!
so i'm already screwed now
well done mans

talkplaylove
8:40:00 PM

20050803

project work is something dat moe sent to crush you
i'm sure nobody is ever gonna b interested in pw
but it's just there to irritate you
make you stress
make you worried
make you lose your brain cells
in the end you might nt even gt ur desired grade
right nw most of us just dun have the time to spare to do it
it's so hard to coordinate
i just want project work to be done n over

i dun understand why lecturers want to go at lightning speed
skipping examples
why must they presume we understand?
lidat i'm just wasting my time in lecture whn i have to re-study again at home

i'm hating organic chem
but i'm still quite alright w alkanes
but i can forsee worse things coming

i still have no idea how to improve on my gp
although surprisingly i'm nt down for remedial

i'm addicted to subway cookies
esp double choc flavour
they r just heavenly
makes me happy (:
but...
sinful :(

vectors 7.3 is a long tedious tutorial
can you believe i spent the whole entire day just doing 2 questions from the tys?

judo photo taking was alright.
the seniors got to wear tie w college uniform
the juniors have to wear gi
which i declare i look like a major white dumpling
we took quite alot of photos
not bad. haha

training for me today was bad
cos i injured my knee again halfway
but i continued training anyway.
dunnoe whether it was a good or bad choice
cos i performed worse than usual
which is equals to horrendous
i was damn hesistant during sparring
just let people attack n throw
i'm in a dilemma right now whether i wan to take grading
i will see after nxt week's apptment w the doctor
i must improve!

anyway i heard from dawn that the doc said she cannot do sports even when she recovers. the news struck me bad
her injury is much worse than me.
and its like cannot do sports. to me i will just break down
i feel lost actually. dunnoe why
just hope that she will get well soon
i hope that the doctor diagnose wrongly though
we shall see how it goes

today's entry is so random. very diff style lei. haha
right now my knee feels super loose
i just hate myself for being so useless

talkplaylove
10:18:00 PM

20050802

aft the show ytd. i actually stayed up to 2am
well. i went to do maths assignment n complete phys graphs
den i happily read harrypotter book5 till i'm tired
which explains my tiredness tdy
econs lect i din doze off though
den during the break i went to eat spicy stuff to keep me awake
chem tutorial i was kinda dying
GP was horrendous.
my eyes were fluttering
maths lect i used coloured pens to make me nt fall asleep
chem prac was just copying
but my handwriting was atroucious
n i decided to pon phys
cos judging at beetsma's speed
i can just skip that lesson
but the whole day i was just tired during lessons
whn it was break. i was fine!!!
does it show symptoms of sloppyness? =x
but i'm so glad tues is over.cos the week will soon b over!
haha. during phys tutorial i went to buy u-mag
cos its cover is.... RAIN-jung ji-hoon!!
but i tink he didnt look vv nice on the cover
hahaha. they shld just full shoot his face. shld look better?
i dunnoe. ooh. i cant wait to read the article later (:
anw i tink i'm kinda lag. since u-mag comes out on fri
n i'm 5 days lagging. but i only knew it was him ytd
anw. tdy i walked out w peiwen
den we saw dis bright yellow car ok
at the sch gate there. so we waited for it to drive awy so we can cross
guess wad. bernard low was driving
n he opened his side window to ask us if we are going to parkway
i was taken by surprise. haha. but i rejected it altho i'm going to parkway
cos i will b alone w the car w him. which is. WEIRD
n peiwen wanted to say the yellow car was nice
but... hahaha
i sometimes wonder y bernard low always does surprising stuff lah
hahahaha.i can still rmb the bikini joke he cracked on chocobo
whn i got home i tried to sleep
but i wasnt feeling tired anymore
wad is dis man.
ok lah. shall go do hwk

talkplaylove
8:04:00 PM

20050801

whee. just finished watching america's nxt top model (:
i missed the first epi last week
but nvm i caught it dis week. yays
oh man. the girls there r super pretty seh!
well. my fave girl is white girl w short hair
forgot the name but she's absolutely gorgeous n cool!
but i hate the results lah
i tink brandy shld haf been out!
her attitude sucks big time lah.
she's just a contestant still wan to show attitude to the judges n all
shit her lahs.
the judges said she has all potential except for attitude
but i dun agree lah! got other girls better den her lohs
n with bad attitude. u carnt develop ur potential right?
the girl who went out. eh. dunnoe the name again
she did badly for her photo shoot
the judges saw her as no potential bah.
vv sad for her lei. cos she's much prettier den brandy
on top of all. her attitude is much better!
freeeak!
haha. the show's super exciting for a boring monday night
i will catch it nxt week. must rmb =D

talkplaylove
11:35:00 PM